you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
