I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
