I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
