It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
