Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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