I didn't shave. On purpose
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
