making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
