my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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