STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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