This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
