By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
