She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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