'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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