It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
