don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
