yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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