i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
