CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Randomize
