1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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