false alarm. still invincible.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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