You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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