I heard we made out
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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