Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Do vagina's smell?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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