We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
