sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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