Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
