oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
