I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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