the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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