An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
