Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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