I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
