So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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