you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize