There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
