Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
