Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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