You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
