PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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