This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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