Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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