why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
