this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize