I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
