i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the day after is always just damage control
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
