I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
