Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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