Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
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