I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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