Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
