He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
