so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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