I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
