It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm at about main and main street
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
