nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Actions speak louder than pants.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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