you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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