Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize