sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
