I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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