Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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