She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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