a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
