Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
