he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
