I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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