is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
