she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
