He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
