i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Terrible idea I love it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
