I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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