oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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