Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
