i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
